June 15, 2006 Social Relativity
DISCLAIMER: I
just read through this again after several months. It's really a
rather flaccid piece of writing with very little of coherence to say.
You've been warned.
Since the vibe bar episode, I’ve been
thinking a lot about what I’m calling social relativity. I
guess sociologists would call it class distinction. My vibe bars,
which to me represented music, art, expression, memories, fulfillment,
and a host of other abstractions, probably meant nothing more to than a
quick buck to the guy who picked them up on the street. When that
failed (assuming it did, and he wasn’t just waiting for an
opportunity), the bars meant nothing and the case became a
pillow. I don’t have much to say about the specific
situation that would be new to anyone in America – we all know
that some of us are blessed beyond belief and others are incredibly
desperate. And this particular incident was very mild compared to
the stories that go on around us every day. Of course, those of
us who play music and make websites and work our jobs and do all the
other things that “normal” Americans do hardly ever see the
other side.
Anyone
who’s sensitive has a hard time dealing with the fact that others
around us live in such different worlds. Most of us choose not to
think about it very often, especially those of us on the fortunate
side. When we are forced to confront the reality, we generally
react with a “what can I do” attitude. This is
completely understandable – it’s hard enough to make sense
of your own situation without feeling the weight of everyone
else’s problems. But what obligations do we really
have? Can someone like me leave the hard problems to those who
dedicate themselves to social change?
I use the term
“social relativity” because the problems are fluid and
ill-defined. No one would argue that a person stealing from the
street and sleeping behind a dumpster is living a happy and fulfilling
life, but no situation is really that simple. Is he there because
of a drug addiction? Or mental illness? Or simply a stretch
of bad luck? Is this a life he fell into, or was forced
into? Or maybe, just maybe, did he actually CHOOSE it? If
he did, most people would probably consider him insane. But there
are some who choose to be homeless, and many who choose to live on the
fringes in any number of ways, and they aren’t all dangerous and
unhinged. I’m not saying this as an excuse for ignoring the
issue, or as a justification for those who truly hurt themselves or
others. I’m just pointing out that there are more
possibilities than our usual frame of reference allows us to
recognize. How does one address a problem that looks completely
different in every case, and from every point of view?
Traditional
moralists would say that I’m just clouding a simple issue.
They would say that these people need either a helping hand or a swift kick in the ass,
depending on the particulars of the case (and your own
philosophy). But if that's true, what about the current controversy around illegal
immigrants to the US? These are people at the fringes, criminals
every one, and most of them chose their lifestyle as the best of a set
of bad options. In fact, some of them don’t see it as a bad
option at all – they’re living in paradise compared to the
expectations they used to have. It’s clearly not a
cut-and-dried matter, and point of view makes a huge difference.
So where does
this leave me, after going through an experience that forced me to
reevaluate my priorities and acknowledge a part of society that is
normally hidden from me? It’s all well and good to say that
social
problems are relative, but what the hell does that mean for daily
life? Well, one thing it certainly doesn’t mean is that we,
the fortunate, can ignore disparity just because our own lives
aren’t inconvenienced by it. Social relativity, like
physical relativity, is simply a tool to better understand what’s
really going on around us. In order to have a realistic picture
of the world we're in, we must constantly remind ourselves that our
assumptions about what makes a good life are not necessarily shared by
those in a different situation. Yes, it’s an obvious point,
but how often do we really open up our deepest preconceptions
when
we’re dealing with someone who’s in a drastically different
situation from our own? And it’s even harder when the
discrepancies aren’t so clear – when the other person seems
to be living in the same world as you.
As much as I
pride myself on seeing the big picture, and having a realistic sense of
my place in the universal scheme of things, I was in a huge perceptual
rut. Having something dear to me stolen and dumped by a homeless
man made me realize that I was completely wrapped up in a certain point
of view, and that point of view represented a very tiny slice of what
humanity experiences every second. This is something we all know
intellectually, but it’s so easy to let the awareness
slide. I hope that this experience will help me be better able to
see my own victories and defeats in a more realistic light. No
profound, earth-shattering revelations from this experience – just a powerful reminder
about something so simple, so obvious, that it’s usually
forgotten.
photo: Jeff Tobin
